Both sides of my mom's family moved from Ireland in the 1880s to Chicago. She grew up one of eleven kids in a neighborhood where everyone was Irish Catholic, every house had a stay-at-home mom in it, and lots of families on the block had around ten kids who went to Catholic school, walked home for lunch, and played outside until dinner. (My uncle said when once as kid he met an only child he asked, "So... What happened to your brothers and sisters?" He assumed there had been a tragic accident. The idea of parents having only one child had never occurred to him.) My mom didn't meet anyone who wasn't Catholic until she went to college (where a Jewish classmate suggested getting a bagel and my mom asked, "What's a bagel?")
At college my mom met my Dad, who was of German heritage (and his family had been in the US longer). They were married 36 years, until my dad passed away. I can see how when you're from the same national background and you grew up in a culture that was strong, if you marry someone of your same background there's unspoken agreement on so many things. Couples of different backgrounds can certainly make it work (and family culture is often less strong these days, how many millennials grew up in a neighborhood that was only one nationality and religion?), but that culture without communication is something special, and it's mostly been lost.
I have an interest in Irish stories and songs, but I don't even have the same immediacy and connection to Irish culture that my mother does. (Angela's Ashes was so sad, but told in such an Irish way, narrating it from the perspective of his childhood self was a good call and made it readable and at parts I laughed out loud, even though it was a childhood like I wish no child would ever have. I loved the movie Brooklyn, I loved the sounds of the voices and especially the Christmas scene with all the old men, because their faces all look like my family's.)
Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing this, I absolutely love it! I relate to certain parts of this story - Chicago is such a great analogue to Boston in many ways, and could give us a run for our money. I remember going to prep school in 7th grade, which my parents pinched and saved for, and similarly being on a new planet in terms of meeting people who were not Catholic or Irish.
I also LOVE Brooklyn - it's one of my favorite movies ever, though in true Irish fashion the author made sure to write sequels that were depressing as hell.
Our friend, with a common Irish first and last name, moved to NYC for a year last year. I told another friend living in NYC to welcome him, because they'd be at the same parish. He said, "Oh, I already know him!"
Turns out he knew a different guy of the same name. He only met my friend when he was getting ready to leave NYC. *Facepalm* 😅
This was so vividly written and captures so well the complexity of a fraught cultural background.
Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Both sides of my mom's family moved from Ireland in the 1880s to Chicago. She grew up one of eleven kids in a neighborhood where everyone was Irish Catholic, every house had a stay-at-home mom in it, and lots of families on the block had around ten kids who went to Catholic school, walked home for lunch, and played outside until dinner. (My uncle said when once as kid he met an only child he asked, "So... What happened to your brothers and sisters?" He assumed there had been a tragic accident. The idea of parents having only one child had never occurred to him.) My mom didn't meet anyone who wasn't Catholic until she went to college (where a Jewish classmate suggested getting a bagel and my mom asked, "What's a bagel?")
At college my mom met my Dad, who was of German heritage (and his family had been in the US longer). They were married 36 years, until my dad passed away. I can see how when you're from the same national background and you grew up in a culture that was strong, if you marry someone of your same background there's unspoken agreement on so many things. Couples of different backgrounds can certainly make it work (and family culture is often less strong these days, how many millennials grew up in a neighborhood that was only one nationality and religion?), but that culture without communication is something special, and it's mostly been lost.
I have an interest in Irish stories and songs, but I don't even have the same immediacy and connection to Irish culture that my mother does. (Angela's Ashes was so sad, but told in such an Irish way, narrating it from the perspective of his childhood self was a good call and made it readable and at parts I laughed out loud, even though it was a childhood like I wish no child would ever have. I loved the movie Brooklyn, I loved the sounds of the voices and especially the Christmas scene with all the old men, because their faces all look like my family's.)
Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing this, I absolutely love it! I relate to certain parts of this story - Chicago is such a great analogue to Boston in many ways, and could give us a run for our money. I remember going to prep school in 7th grade, which my parents pinched and saved for, and similarly being on a new planet in terms of meeting people who were not Catholic or Irish.
I also LOVE Brooklyn - it's one of my favorite movies ever, though in true Irish fashion the author made sure to write sequels that were depressing as hell.
Our friend, with a common Irish first and last name, moved to NYC for a year last year. I told another friend living in NYC to welcome him, because they'd be at the same parish. He said, "Oh, I already know him!"
Turns out he knew a different guy of the same name. He only met my friend when he was getting ready to leave NYC. *Facepalm* 😅